When facing an angry child, instinctive reactions can often make the situation worse. On the other hand, a simple phrase can ease the tension and restore connection in just moments.
Let’s not forget that managing children’s emotional outbursts is a real challenge, and every parent knows this well. Attempts to control or force calmness often result in even more anger. Meanwhile, a calm sentence spoken with simple words can turn a moment of frustration into an opportunity for bonding—according to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein in his article for Psychology Today.
“I see that you’re angry and really upset… but I’m here for you.”
This approach validates the child’s emotion, offers a sense of safety, and avoids confrontation. Instead of saying “Calm down,” or “It’s nothing… why are you acting like this?”, words like “I’m here for you because I see you’re upset” help the child feel understood without minimizing their feelings.
Why does this sentence work?
This way of speaking honors the child’s emotions. In moments of anger, a child may feel misunderstood or ignored. When you say “I see you’re upset,” they feel heard, which helps prevent the situation from escalating. When a child feels ignored, their stress level rises, and so does the intensity of their emotional reaction—anger, frustration, sadness, etc.
Children are naturally resistant to commands, especially when they’re in the middle of an emotional outburst. When we say, “I’m here for you,” we offer a safe space where the child can express their emotions freely, without fear of judgment. This creates a moment of trust, connection, and calm.